A professional photographer is the Chuck Norris of photography
A professional photographer's camera has similar settings to a non pro, except ours are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
A professional photographer doesn't color correct. The world adjusts to match us.
Sure, a professional photographer deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
A professional photographer doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
A professional photographer doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
A professional photographer never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
A professional photographer orders an L-lens from Nikon, and gets one.
When a professional photographer brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
Only a professional photographer can take pictures of a professional photographer; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of our genius
A professional photographer's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
A professional photographer once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble Space Telescope.
When a professional unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
A professional photographer’s portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
On a professional photographer's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
A professional photographer spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
For every 10 shots that a professional photographer takes, 11 are keepers.
A professional photographer's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
A professional photographer never focuses, everything moves into his DoF
A professional photographer's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned Photoshop for us: all it consists of is a close button.
A professional photographer never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
A professional photographer isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the professional photographer of martial arts.
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