Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What is a Professional Photographer

A professional photographer is the Chuck Norris of photography

A professional photographer's camera has similar settings to a non pro, except ours are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

A professional photographer doesn't color correct. The world adjusts to match us.

Sure, a professional photographer deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

A professional photographer doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

A professional photographer doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

A professional photographer never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

A professional photographer orders an L-lens from Nikon, and gets one.

When a professional photographer brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

Only a professional photographer can take pictures of a professional photographer; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of our genius

A professional photographer's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

A professional photographer once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble Space Telescope.

When a professional unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

A professional photographer’s portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

On a professional photographer's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

A professional photographer spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

For every 10 shots that a professional photographer takes, 11 are keepers.

A professional photographer's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

A professional photographer never focuses, everything moves into his DoF

A professional photographer's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned Photoshop for us: all it consists of is a close button.

A professional photographer never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

A professional photographer isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the professional photographer of martial arts.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Photographers are like...

I love this quote:

"(Professional) photographers are like Hookers: at first we started doing it because we liked it and it felt good, then we kept doing it but only for our friends, and NOW we're still doing it but are charging money for doing it! " -Dean Collins