Wednesday, August 08, 2007

What's up with Birthdays?

Disclaimer: I am neither confirming nor denying that today is my birthday. That really doesn't matter (trust me, the number of people who actually know can be counted on less than one hand) but I just don't "get" birthdays.

Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't see the big deal. It's kind of embarrassing, all the attention. People that really know me understand that I vehemently avoid attracting attention to myself. I don't talk about myself, I don't flaunt what I do, I try to remain in the background. I just think it's wrong to boast about your accomplishments. Isn't it like a sin? You know... Pride? Vanity?

So when people (mainly my folks) try to wish me a happy birthday, I get mad. I usually spend the day away from everyone, don't answer the phone, etc. I guess I don't see the big deal about birthdays. I don't know what I would do if there was a party. Good thing that it won't be happening before we are hit by the rogue asteroid. :)

Other people celebrate their birthdays. Heck, they throw their own parties. But I've never thought that was a good idea. It's very self-centered, I think. Oh well, I guess I'm the weird one.

I did have this kind of wistful, hopeful feeling that I would find that , as a present, I was given a new camera, but I know that my folks can't afford it. And it's kind of a matter of personal pride (I hope it's not the wrong kind of pride) that I've bought all my own photography equipment over the years. I would love to buy my own digital SLR. Here's the one I would love to have:

And of course a couple of great lenses, ones that I can use for astronomy, plus portraits and weddings.

But that stuff costs money. Money I don't have, because I don't have a job. And at my age, it's an embarrassment (especially to my folks, who I can't help but think I'm a disappointment to them) not to have a job. I need to work on that. But I know that if I had the digital equipment, I'd be more motivated to go out there and do photography.

Oh well. rant/musing over. Back to science later.

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