Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What is a Professional Photographer

A professional photographer is the Chuck Norris of photography

A professional photographer's camera has similar settings to a non pro, except ours are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

A professional photographer doesn't color correct. The world adjusts to match us.

Sure, a professional photographer deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

A professional photographer doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

A professional photographer doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

A professional photographer never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

A professional photographer orders an L-lens from Nikon, and gets one.

When a professional photographer brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

Only a professional photographer can take pictures of a professional photographer; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of our genius

A professional photographer's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

A professional photographer once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble Space Telescope.

When a professional unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

A professional photographer’s portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

On a professional photographer's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

A professional photographer spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

For every 10 shots that a professional photographer takes, 11 are keepers.

A professional photographer's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

A professional photographer never focuses, everything moves into his DoF

A professional photographer's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned Photoshop for us: all it consists of is a close button.

A professional photographer never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

A professional photographer isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the professional photographer of martial arts.